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Question: Is it wrong to keep the fact that my mother has Alzheimer’s from her? Whenever a doctor or someone mentions the word, she gets angry and denies that there is anything wrong with her. Is there any benefit to telling her?

Rebecca in Tennessee

Answer: I don't think it is helpful to upset your mother with the word Alzheimer's. She may not be able to accept or understand what the diagnosis means or how it is impacting her life. Sometimes using the phrase memory problems or difficulties is less threatening. Whatever she is comfortable with is how I would describe the problem.

Question: Sometimes I really need a break, but my husband is not comfortable around many people. He does not realize there is anything wrong with him so he does not understand why I want to be away from him? He asks me if he did something wrong and it just breaks my heart. We have been married 44 years.

Sarah in Toronto, Canada

Answer: Your husband is unable to realize that you need a break because of the cognitive impairment. You are his main support person and this is the very reason you need to schedule a break. You will return refreshed and renewed and better able to provide care for him. Even though he is not going to be as comfortable with another care provider right away, hopefully he can find an activity that will be enjoyable. Try adult day centers in your area or a trusted friend. Good luck!

This Month's Expert is:

Tamara Goetz